Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Dialed

I'd like to think I've hit the sweet spot...but it's quite elusive. Just when you think things are going smooth, there's a bump or a pot hole or quite frankly a bird just happens to crap on you.


That happened to me the other day.


I've avoided blogging because I don't really feel like I have anything to say. I don't feel eloquent with my words or phrases and have this fear of being rejected, however, today I just don't care. My grammar might suck as might my punctuation and spelling. I just want to write.


I'm frustrated. I want to shout and ask God where he is in all this. Why hasn't the house in Albuquerque sold? Why hasn't the Jeep sold? What's with my wife not being able to find a job yet? Why did I go from making $120K a year to making $20K a year? Willingly? These are all questions that seem so frivolous. I know in my head that life is not supposed to all be easy and smooth and there may be many days and weeks and seasons where life is very unknown. The reality however, is that is hard. Living life without known boundaries and known outcomes scares me because I have no control. I want control so I can be safe. And that has got to be the main issue.

1 comment:

Roye said...

Glad to see you here!!

I know for a fact you have much to say and are very good at communicating your thoughts. Looking forward to hearing what God has to say in you. I know as He speaks in you - you will speak what has been spoken.

Praying for you and your lovely wife. God is with you. Seek first the kingdom of God...